But more important, if you hope we have a grand political aneurism, you're a massive, sheltered asshole. We need to get everyone to calm the fuck down, because any more violence or "aneurisms" will create the kind of hell on earth that might even singe little snots like you.


OK, first, what kind of asshole says "Natty Ice"? Second, do you know what an ice beer is? It's the 90s version of an IPA--not the strongest beer on Earth but stronger than the Heineken your dumb ass thinks is actually sophisticated (Hint: Heineken is the Bud Lite of Europe and stronger than a N**** (I couldn't make myself type that shit again) Ice by far. Ugh, god, MFA people.


We are approaching a singularity in which half of the population would believe the world was flat if the New York Times told them so, and the other half would believe the world was flat if the New York Times told them it was round.

This is what happens when…


Well, not in THAT way. I mean the media hates him so much that even if he wants to do evil from the Oval, he can’t get away with it.

And no, I’m not talking about crack dick, either.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to piece together the way these things work… but since it’s taking the…


I just changed my mind. Maybe us old fucks shouldn’t be heard at all. Then again, that should be said — loudly — of most people of every age group. But it’s goddamn tiring when people keep demanding that everyone join them in fighting the same battle they fought thirty…


I was wrong, but you were wronger.

I may be known (and dismissed) for my almost cartoonish misanthropy, but 2020 has alerted me to the fact that I have been NOWHERE NEAR MISANTHROPHIC ENOUGH. …


When “journos” get their tongues stuck in their bellybuttons.

When I see a name in a news headline and think “Who the hell is that?”, these days my next thought is “Probably one of their own reporters.”

Yep! This Rebel News headline breathlessly announces that a journalist has been arrested for plying his noble craft… and, coincidentally, that…


Not that it matters. You’ll never listen to us. We aren’t even a “thing.” We’re just the people who have noticed that all of your “things” are fucking awful, and always wrong.

And yeah, life is a prison, and everyone needs an ideological prison gang. But someone has to risk…


My god, what a crying waste. (Drinks in the beautiful view. Notices how hard it is to frame a photograph without getting a street sign in there, even if it’s the middle of a nature area.)

So Johnny Depp has finally been exonerated of the bullshit wife-beating charges.

He was…

Ann Sterzinger

Author of NVSQVAM, DISASTER FITNESS, the upcoming ELEKTRA’S REVENGE sci-fi epic, & the action novella SEINE VENDETTA. Editor of YOU’RE ALL PUSSIES.

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