But more important, if you hope we have a grand political aneurism, you're a massive, sheltered asshole. We need to get everyone to calm the fuck down, because any more violence or "aneurisms" will create the kind of hell on earth that might even singe little snots like you.

OK, first, what kind of asshole says "Natty Ice"? Second, do you know what an ice beer is? It's the 90s version of an IPA--not the strongest beer on Earth but stronger than the Heineken your dumb ass thinks is actually sophisticated (Hint: Heineken is the Bud Lite of Europe and stronger than a N**** (I couldn't make myself type that shit again) Ice by far. Ugh, god, MFA people.

We are approaching a singularity in which half of the population would believe the world was flat if the New York Times told them so, and the other half would believe the world was flat if the New York Times told them it was round.

This is what happens when people working for “authoritative sources” use that “brand” to slip in their favorite lies and propaganda; the mainstream media has abused its reputation to the point where people who generally like what they say double down in citing them and defending censorship of any “unauthorized viewpoint,” and the people who…

Well, not in THAT way. I mean the media hates him so much that even if he wants to do evil from the Oval, he can’t get away with it.

And no, I’m not talking about crack dick, either.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to piece together the way these things work… but since it’s taking the rest of you even longer, I don’t feel so bad.

So! I’ve disliked Donald Trump’s tacky, cartoonish autoportrait of America as a land of brain-stem greed and cheating since before the humanitarians who keep calling for all of his voters to be beheaded were even born.

Most New Yorkers I…

I just changed my mind. Maybe us old fucks shouldn’t be heard at all. Then again, that should be said — loudly — of most people of every age group. But it’s goddamn tiring when people keep demanding that everyone join them in fighting the same battle they fought thirty years ago. Especially if they’ve already blown the target to smithereens.

I say this because poor old US Senator Mazie Hirono of Hawaii, who seems to have some kind of screw loose, spent part of her day today firing down the long-abandoned gay-haters’ gun range, wondering where everyone had gone.

I was wrong, but you were wronger.

I may be known (and dismissed) for my almost cartoonish misanthropy, but 2020 has alerted me to the fact that I have been NOWHERE NEAR MISANTHROPHIC ENOUGH. For years, people have made fun of me for being a goth, slacker, typical #GenX cynic, blah blah blah…

Bikini shot because fuck you

Well, the Internet has shined a light into the depths of the idiocracy, while empowering the moron majority out the wazoo.

Out of hundreds of millions of Americans, the private entity we call the DNC picked JOE “Clowns and Scranton” BIDEN as their must-vote alternative to Orange…

When “journos” get their tongues stuck in their bellybuttons.

When I see a name in a news headline and think “Who the hell is that?”, these days my next thought is “Probably one of their own reporters.”

Yep! This Rebel News headline breathlessly announces that a journalist has been arrested for plying his noble craft… and, coincidentally, that journalist works for Rebel News.

In fact, Avi Yemini is the self-same reporter who stars in this news segment ABOUT HIMSELF.

I wonder if the other side’s point of view will be fairly represented? Yes, censorship is terrible, but no matter how clear-cut an issue seems, when the subject of…

Not that it matters. You’ll never listen to us. We aren’t even a “thing.” We’re just the people who have noticed that all of your “things” are fucking awful, and always wrong.

And yeah, life is a prison, and everyone needs an ideological prison gang. But someone has to risk getting their ass kicked to keep you shitheads remotely tethered to reality.

When Team A is dumb enough to believe a “good” protest won’t spread viruses like a “bad” one, and Team B is dumb enough to believe that because “they”are lying about one aspect of coronavirus, then the whole…

My god, what a crying waste. (Drinks in the beautiful view. Notices how hard it is to frame a photograph without getting a street sign in there, even if it’s the middle of a nature area.)

So Johnny Depp has finally been exonerated of the bullshit wife-beating charges.

He was never charged with a crime, because his accuser, the incredibly awful Amber Heard, had actually been beating HIM, so she had no actual evidence besides having a vagina — but the media convicted him, and he spent years in the wilderness. (You want to talk about double standards? The media…

Ann Sterzinger

Author of NVSQVAM, DISASTER FITNESS, the upcoming ELEKTRA’S REVENGE sci-fi epic, & the action novella SEINE VENDETTA. Editor of YOU’RE ALL PUSSIES.

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